come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize
