she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
the night ended with taco bell and tears
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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