The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize
