It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
