I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Randomize
