if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
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That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
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It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
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