Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
i out mim tonsoeep
Randomize