Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
