Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize
