I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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