How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
πππ what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
You left your phone here
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