Acid is not a monday night drug
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
