I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Randomize
