Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Randomize
