I accidentally had phone sex last night
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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