Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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