Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
