now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
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