I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Randomize
