I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Randomize
