I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
