Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
