I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I've blown a few things in my day
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
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