hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I met the friendliest cop last night
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Randomize
