So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
