is wine microwaveable?
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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