But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
