I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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