I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
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