Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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