I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
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Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
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Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine