She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.