Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
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