Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize