Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
