do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Randomize
