i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
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