I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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