remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize