SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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