just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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