I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
