Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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