Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Come see our sink grown plant.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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