if you like me you must not know who I am
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize
