Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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