I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
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