no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
