I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
