I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
