he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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