chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
COCAINE IS GR8
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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