Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
