Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
