I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
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I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
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